I am a grandparent of six years and what I have learned in that small amount of time is that grandparenting is very different today than it was, say back when I had grandparents. But then, parenting is very different today also. When my husband and I raised our children, two girls, three and a half years apart, they were firmly encouraged to fit into the family unit, and be accommodating to the group. My husband and I raised them to do that. Today, children are encouraged to be the center of attention with the rest of the family circling around to accommodate them, often quite frantically I might add. In a very short amount of time, we have gone from a family centered culture to a child centered one, and in my opinion, not to the benefit of anyone. The super vigilant parents of today (helicopter parents) are exerting more energy to keep their offspring happy, safe, stimulated (never bored), and social than any group of parents before them. Think of the energy they must exert every day to do this (no wonder they are so darn tired). Think of the energy we grandparents have to exert to keep up, put up and shut up about all of it. No wonder WE are so tired!
My name is Grandma DiDi to my grandchildren, Susan (6) and Peter (almost 3). I did not want to be called Granny, Grandma or Grandmother although, sometimes, my granddaughter slips and calls me Grandma like she calls her other grandmother. NO, if the whole world is going crazy with this "kid" stuff, I want to be up to date; I need to think of myself as young and modern to keep up with it all. Just for fun, I went down the alphabet to see if other letters would fit this grandma kind of name, and quickly eliminated Grandma Pipi and Grandma Wiwi which, of course, would make my grandchildren howl with laughter, but would not go over well when they introduced me to their class on Grandparent's Day. So Grandma Didi, it is.
And don't kid yourself, like everyone else in our lives, we are being compared and judged by our children, our grandchildren, and certainly by the "other" grandparents. (A subject for another day.) Heck, I compare and judge myself, and when there are vast differences between two sets of grandparents, as there are in my little "nest," well then, Katie Bar the Door! (An old-fashion grandmother kind of saying, don't you think?) I always told my children growing up that we were not comparing ourselves to the Jones (whoever they were), but today, have to tell myself not to compare myself to the Stratons (other gps.)
For fun, I have created some Grandparent Categories for us to ponder, and to enjoy picturing where we might fit. I am not willing, at this point, to declare where I see myself, and of course, everything is subject to change, expect for perhaps, Category A. The categories are:
Group A: Grandparents with lots of money to spend and spoil their grandkids taking them on lavish trips, perhaps even to Europe; out to dinner at expensive restaurants, and giving them lavish amounts of of toys and "stuff" for holidays and birthdays, and certainly a car for their sixteenth birthday, making it absolutely impossible for the other grandparents to give the kids anything since the children already have everything.
Group B: Over involved grandparents who drop by unannounced, call constantly to see if little Johnny is eating solid food yet, gives advice on child-rearing at the drop of a hat, and even when you don't drop your hat.
Group C: Under involved grandparents who make it clear from the beginning that they do not babysit unless it is an emergency, and sometimes, not even then.
Group D: Energetic grandparents who are willing to play Duck, Duck, Goose with their 4 year old grandchild as soon as they put down their suitcase; get up with the baby at night; tell their children to go to bed, that they will clean up etc. Parent and grandchildren alike LOVE these grandparents!
Group E: Grandparents who are not physically involved with their grandchildren but who create a great audience when grandchildren perform, go on the potty, run fast or read their first book. These are the inactive encouragers, and are usually first to bed when visiting.

I would love to hear from you if you would like to add to these groups. I am sure I have not identified them all. The purpose of this BLOG is to have a lighthearted approach to grandpa renting. God knows, I need it to keep from crying some days, and if you don't find something to laugh about here, stop visiting please!